This is just a formality. My terribly lonely little blog has been gasping for air, and attention, in the last few weeks. My cats have been pawing at the bedroom door wondering what the heck happened to everyone (they can’t go in there, boyfriend is allergic). The pile of dishes, mail and clutter has been steadily growing. What happened to Audrey?
Truth be told, in the late days of February I become a hibernator. I’ve done nothing, literally nothing creative for about two weeks. This is a dry spell for me. I lurk around my house in the dark after reading chapters and chapters of murder mysteries, glancing at the unattended to-do-tasks (open mail, put laundry in hamper) as if it’s the novel incarnate, but this time the killer is a seeping sense of domestic failure and artistic gloom.
Oh, so sad, Audrey!
So what have I been doing, then?
In addition to dreaming of summer, we’ve been indulging in reliving the Sopranos from Season One. I’ve been reading “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” and I’m 20 pages away from finished after staying up until 3:30am last night (on a school night!) We’ve ventured out in to the not-that-cold to visit pizza joints, Indian food oases and dive bars with delicious breakfast. On Saturday I lived vicariously through a MECA student who photographed Kate with her Toyo (I miss my Toyo!) field camera at her apartment. Like an arty vampire, I watched her frame photographs, direct her subject, snap — and probably feel super satisfied with herself. Jealous.
After some guilt I expressed about being a puddle of inactivity, boyfriend reminded me that no one should expect anything of me at this point in the winter. God damn it, he’s right. I’ll tend to my Etsy responsibilities as needed but much energy needs to be stored so I can hit Spring with the full force it deserves. I think I may start drawing because it’s non-committal and totally fun. Dishes be damned: I just won’t throw an elaborate dinner party any time soon. Kate lent me the second book in the series I stayed up like a zombie reading and I will absolutely finish one (tonight) and dive right in to the other (probably tonight through 3:30am again).
Then there’s the matter of The BIG THAW. Wow, I am so excited about it but at this point there’s nothing I can really ‘do’ until February 28th when all the applications are in. My amazing artists are working on the poster design as we speak, applications are coming in daily (all are amazing, I hope we have room for everyone!) and I’ve already divided up the floor layout to figure out the numbers we can accommodate. But this is what I need to focus on, this is the big deal of 2011.
I refuse to feel guilty about sink scum or scattered shoes this week. If I get to them, I get to them — if not, who really actually cares?
Then there’s the matter of feast and famine. I learned long ago (after four intense years of art scholarship) that you can’t go-go-go all the time at art. Some people can, but they are totally insane and don’t have the best living/hygiene/sanity standards among us creative people. After art school I took an entire year and a half not touching anything creative before coming to my senses. Perhaps a busy December marked with the flourish of creating a craft sale out of thin air in January made this relaxation in February completely necessary. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Perhaps in a few weeks something will pour out of my hands so freaking fantastic that not washing my hair for three days seems totally justified!
I encourage everyone reading this to join me in a night of sloth, eat potato chips off a bowl perched on your stomach, wear the same shirt to bed that you wear to work the next morning. Hibernating solidarity! The bears would be proud.