Reading an article on Handmadeology today, I was struck with a bolt of lightning of clarity. Damn, I love it when that happens!
Let’s go back 12 hours. Last night I had a major migraine (sinus headache?) and was waist-deep in bottle caps (as you can see from my previous blog post). Around midnight I reluctantly ‘went to bed’ (watched Sopranos) and woke up again at 6am for work. While putting together my purse/outfit/food for the day I knocked my frankenphone on the floor and it broke in to two pieces. Nooo! I found out at work that a computer-purchasing-assistance program that I was going to apply for (I just bought a computer) was canceled on Jan 1st. Woops! French fries dipped in mayo for lunch. Shitty day, right?
Thank goodness I spent a bit of my lunch break surfing the crafternet. The words of wisdom as imparted by Handmadeology, as imparted by some lady at O magazine, ask the reader to think of the ‘why’ and not so much the ‘how’ of goal-getting. Yeah! Read the article, do the exercise, you’ll love it. When I opened my eyes I realized all the things I’ve been doing are a means to obtain: independence, security, and quietude (aka peace, but ‘peace’ is a dorky word).
Independence. Financially, yes, very important. But I’ve always been partial to being a ‘loner.’ I love my friends and family but when it comes to working I really thrive best on my own. The stakes are higher when it’s just you doing the thing you have to do. There is definitely a time and a place to partner with others, but for the most part I REALLY enjoy my own company. Solo walks, solo movie watching, solo work. It really is true that you can’t even begin to think of loving someone else until you love yourself. I have a huge freaking crush on me, and it’s not an ego thing, I just think I’m super to pass the day with!
Security. Well, yeah, that’s what all women want! This is financial, too, but it can mean so much more. It’s safe to say that when you own and run your own business no one can fire you. My success is only as good or bad as the effort I’ve put in to it. I love being in an apartment, no, a home!, for more than a year. I love living in the same city I grew up next to. I love walking down the street and knowing the first name of about half the people I see.
Quietude. Don’t get me wrong — I can get down with the noisiest of ’em (and regularly do) but a staggeringly brilliant side effect of independence is the amount of peace I get from not having to answer to anyone for my lack of work, overworking, missing a deadline, etc. etc.
By outlining these emotional results I’ve gotten a better handle on what my goals actually are. The first order of business (once I ship off this order!) is to set up my studio. There’s an entire attic up there just waiting to be utilized! I need a permanent workspace, shelves, cups and drawers for organization, a comfy chair, and a good light. That one falls mostly under quietude so I can stop messing up the living spaces downstairs. I’ve also realized I need to outline better financial goals for 2011 to cater to my need for independence and security. And all this from an article I read on lunch break!
All in all, I think Tuesday’s trajectory has become a little more savory. Even if I don’t get to all the things on my list it doesn’t mean they won’t stay there for me to do tomorrow. Now… if anyone finds two, short matching bookcases and a slab of wood I can balance on top of them I’ll be your best friend!
Images used in this blog entry have been pulled from the pages of Etsy seller, tastesorangey‘s shop. I encourage you to take a peek because it’s all beautiful, high quality and handmade.