Monday Cat Stories: The Chase

Not actually my cat, but pretty accurate

Apparently, while JR and I were at work today there was some kind of massive cat event that took place.  I can only work backward from the clues they left, but here is as much as I know:

-I had to give both of them a bath last night.  

Giving cats a bath is simultaneously horrifying and hilarious.  They look ridiculous, but they are still really sharp at five or six major cat points.  Just five.  Hm.  I had to wash them because they’ve had a mild case of the fleas for the last couple of weeks, which subsided for awhile but they were still super itchy.  So I filled up the sink with lukewarm water and plunked cat #1 (Cash, the brown cat) in to the water.  She was shocked, but docile.  She is most hilarious when she’s wet because she’s such a tiny cat.

Yuna (the gray cat) was watching this from his food dish the entire time thinking “Ahh, yes, the brown cat is pretty dirty.  Good call.  I am sure I’ll be safe over here.  Meet me in the living room in ten for some good cuddling!”  But he was next.  And this was SCARY.  He’s HUGE and his claws are like razor-sharp velociraptor talons.  He’s basically a miniature lion, and about as dumb as an ox.  So he quickly forgets that the evil monster throwing him in a sink-full of warm water is actual his human-mommy, who loves him, and wouldn’t do it if it weren’t for a damn good reason.  The howling, screaming, wailing, thrashing, hissing, coughing that ensued was a bit much for all of us.  Eventually he was so stressed (even as I was trying to get a towel around him) that I just let him jet, soaking wet, through the apartment.  Hardwood floors be damned:  we had both had enough of each other.

I thought they forgot about it by this morning when they were happily munching on their breakfast, both of their coats fluffy and clean and free of itchies.  Until…

Fast forward to 4:30pm.  The evidence is as such:

Exhibit A:  Huge pile of papers knocked on to the floor.  Various mail, folders and receipts.

Exhibit B:  Recipe folder and all recipes strewn around the floor.

Exhibit C:  Glass vase tipped over balancing precariously on the seat of a dining char.

Exhibit D:  Potting soil spread all over floor under table.

Exhibit E:  Pennies all over kitchen floor, all the way to the sink about five feet away.

Apparently while we were out the Cat-Olympics were held in the dining section of our kitchen.  I’m guessing some kind of relay race or death-defying cat chase was the main event.

Cash, The Brown Cat


Or maybe they just don’t like recipes…

Yuna, The Gray Cat

Or maybe they are saving up to buy some tootsie rolls at the corner store.

Or maybe they’re just really good at holding bath-related grudges.

Hey, at least this isn’t as bad as the last Monday cat debacle

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